Alongsider Church

The Gospel in Every Relationship — The Gospel at Home

Everybody Loves Raymond… But What Does God Say? /\\ Ephesians 5:21-6:4

February 15 & 22, 2026

Marriage can feel funny, frustrating, and painfully familiar. In this message from Ephesians 5:21–6:4, we use humor from Everybody Loves Raymond to explore what God says about life at home—marriage, parenting, and family relationships. This sermon reminds us that the gospel isn’t about getting everything right in our homes. It’s about trusting Jesus, who already did. Whether you’re married, single, divorced, widowed, or raising kids in the middle of real life, this message points beyond our imperfect relationships to Christ’s perfect love for His church. The gospel belongs at home, and God’s heart is to move that love from our homes to our neighborhoods and all the way to the nations.

Scripture. Ephesians 5:21-6:4.

[21] submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body.

[31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 

[32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

[1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), [3] “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

[4] Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Outline.

I. The Foundation: Mutual Submission (5:21)

Ray: marriage as power struggle

God: submission rooted in reverence for Christ

Equal worth, distinct roles

Marriage exists to serve God together and display the gospel

Illustration: cyclists riding toward the same goal

II. A Word to Wives: Trusting Leadership (5:22–24)

Submission misunderstood in culture

Biblical submission:

Not absolute (God first, abuse never justified)

Not mindless (voice, wisdom, discernment)

Not about ability (order, not superiority)

Modeled after the church’s trust in Christ

III. A Word to Husbands: Sacrificial Love (5:25–30)

Command: not rule, but love

Two models:

Love like Christ—self-giving, sanctifying, spiritual leadership

Love as your own body—nourish and cherish

Godly love seeks holiness, not just happiness

IV. United Together: One Flesh (5:31)

Marriage creates a new family

Personal testimony of divorce and its impact

Pastoral hope: God redeems, heals, restores

Forgiveness holds imperfect marriages together

V. It’s Not About Your Marriage (5:32–33)

Marriage points to Christ and the church

Not ultimately about happiness, but the gospel

Hope for married and unmarried alike

Future wedding feast for every believer

VI. Children: Obey and Honor (6:1–3)

Obedience is relational and “in the Lord”

Honor lasts a lifetime

Promise of blessing

Rope story: loving authority shapes hearts

Gospel hope for imperfect parents

VII. Fathers: Nurture, Don’t Provoke (6:4)

Avoid harshness and constant criticism

Parenting is long-term, relational work

Discipline with wisdom and grace

Shape hearts with Scripture and humility

Questions.

Open: Which TV family best reflects your family? Everybody Loves Raymond? The Simpsons? Bluey? Modern Family? Last Man Standing? Another show?

Kids: What does God ask of all children, and with what promise (v. 1-3)? What is one way you can show love like Jesus at home this week? 

Where did this passage or message connect with your real life right now—at home, work, or relationships?

What does mutual submission look like in everyday life (how we speak, listen, and make decisions)?

How does remembering that the gospel—not a perfect marriage—is the ultimate thing change the pressure we feel in relationships?

How does our culture define marriage differently than Ephesians 5, and where do you feel that tension most?

Men or women: What stands out to you about God’s calling for husbands or wives in this passage? Why?

How do you personally respond to the standard God sets here—what feels encouraging, challenging, or uncomfortable?

What does Christ’s love for the church teach us about leadership, sacrifice, and responsibility in the home?

For parents (or future parents): What does it look like to raise children in the training and instruction of the Lord in everyday life?

What have you felt enslaved to recently, and how does this passage speak freedom into that?

Neighborhoods to Nations: How can the way you love people at home help show Jesus to your neighborhood? 

Jesus loves the church sacrificially, patiently, and faithfully. Where is God inviting you to reflect that kind of love this week at home, with family, or in close relationships?

Resources.

Letters to a Romantic – Sean Perron & Spencer Harmon
Clear, thoughtful, and thoroughly biblical guidance for navigating dating with wisdom and integrity. The authors address everything from first dates and parental involvement to breakups, pornography, physical boundaries, past sexual history, and even how to decline a date well. If you want to honor Christ in your dating relationships, this is a must-read.

The Meaning of Marriage – Tim Keller with Kathy Keller
Marriage is both glorious and demanding. Keller captures this tension beautifully—marriage is a source of deep joy and strength, yet it also involves sacrifice, humility, and perseverance. It’s a profound mystery rooted in the gospel, echoing Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:32.

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family – Paul David Tripp
A gracious and hope-filled call for parents to live and lead in light of the gospel. Tripp combines rich theology with practical wisdom, helping moms and dads parent not from fear or control, but from the grace and hope we have in Jesus.